How I Close the Door on the Critics
And tease out my Muse
“Write shitty first drafts.”
This great wisdom comes from Anne Lamott in Bird by Bird, a writing book where she takes us readers inside her head and we get to see how similar her inner committee’s rants and raves are compared to ours.
No one’s over my shoulder. At least not in the flesh.
But my would-be audience lives in my head and comments through my writing session like a Howard Cosell sports commentator.
“Ah, what a mamby pamby title. Who’d want to read that?”
Shut up. It’s just to get me started.
“Well jazz it up a little bit.”
There. See! How’s that?
“Profanity is the lazy way. Be original”
Shut up. Or I’ll use it on you!
“You call that an opening line? Please!”
Shut up. It’s just to get me started.
See what I’m up against? You, too?
How to put these guys to sleep while I write my “shitty” first draft.
Poppies. Poppies will put them to sleep.
But I’m fresh out of opioids. Besides, it would put me to sleep and I’d never hear the end of it from my sponsor.
