thank you, Dave for your thoughtful comments and being sensitive to the body language dance at your workplace. You raised some points well worth considering. Yes, this is an issue for both genders to be conscious of their behaviors around.

As a recovering promiscuous person, I believed I “broadcasted” that fact with and without (at times) being aware of it. And i think it’s important to consider all these dynamics in the context of the power structures in our culture. This reminds me of bluegrass artists Hazel Dickens/Alice Gerrard’s song about a so-called “cheap” woman that goes, “Don’t put her down if you helped put her there.”

Amazingly some of the words are coming back: “There’s more to her than powder and paint/and the men she picks up at the bar./Well if she acts that way, it’s cause you’ve had your say./Don’t put her down if you helped put her there.”

Back in the day we managed to find each other for casual sex in spite of layers of denim and tie-dyed cotton. I don’t envy young people having to navigate this landscape nowadays, but i do believe it’s possible with dignity intact. I for one am glad any wiring I may or may not have had, hard or otherwise, now seems to be gratefully unplugged.

anyway, much food for thought. thanks for being part of the ongoing conversation. And being sensitive on this issue.